For anyone who ever wanted to go to the edge of space without having to do all the training and degrees in astrophysics, your time has come. The company offering this, Space Perspective, says the journey is carbon-neutral. They give you food and cocktails while you enjoy the view, and you will have high-speed WiFi the whole damn time, so you can live-stream it. This is surely a winner.
And the best part? If you have too many champagnes, they even offer the best loo in the entire world. IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
There is no floating about in space because you aren’t technically in the part of space where that happens, but floating sounds annoying anyway and like something that would mess up your hair.
Space Perspective: How it starts
Your trip begins at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, where you will be shown around and settled in. Then you get shuttled to a boat waiting in the space marina. It is from the boat that you will leave the earth, in a space balloon, tugging behind it a luxury capsule where humans shall ride.
Your return trip to the edge of space (about 80kms up) will take six hours (okay it is not space as astronauts think of it as space but who cares … that view baby).
Once on the balloon-pulled vessel, you will climb slowly using “renewable” hydrogen. You can annoy the pilot with lots of questions while doing so.
If you put your entire Bitcoin haul into this trip you should def annoy the pilot as much as you can. Also, selfies. Lots and lots of selfies.
The company behind this incredible offering is Space Perspective, and it says that from the “space lounge” passengers will have “360-degree visibility through the largest windows ever flown to space. Rather than blasting off, we rise slowly at 12mph (20km/h), making the experience accessible to anyone medically fit to fly with a commercial airline”.
The company claims it is environmentally friendly and that even the space balloon is recycled. “Our SpaceBalloon, made from polyethylene, is recycled after each flight, and upcycled wherever possible.”
While there is room for 8 humans and a pilot onboard, if you don’t like the thought of germy strangers, you can book out the whole capsule and just go with your mates. Space Perspective says that “the modular design of the space lounge can accommodate changes to seating configurations and incorporate additional hospitality features, like tables for a unique dining service.”
Or if you are as rich as Gina Rinehart, you can book it for just two people as a hot date idea.
According to Space Perspective passengers will have “two hours to view the curve of the Earth, the total blackness of space, and the thin blue line of our atmosphere”.
After you have had enough of being in orbit and are bored of everything, you can start the descent, which takes two hours. Space Perspective has back-up parachutes tacked on to the capsule, so if anything goes Pete Tong then you’ll be fine.
You’ll finish with “a gentle ocean splashdown”. Then the capsule is fished out of the ocean and put on a ship’s deck. With your mission accomplished, it’s off to a celebration back at base.
And because the entire trip is filmed, you’ll get mileage from the trip for months to come.
Maybe it is time to upload those funds from your cold wallet and transfer them to Space Perspective before you get old and forget all your seed phrases anyway.